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Friday, January 15, 2010

Before I was a mom

Before I was a mom
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a mom
I had never been puked on
pooped on
chewed on
peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a mom
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests
or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a mom
I never held a sleeping baby
just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew that I would love being a mom.
Before I was a mom
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure everything was OK.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or satisfaction of being a mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
before I was a mom.

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